Turn the Wigs Around

"You're going to New Orleans" was one of the first things my parents said to me when I presented them with my tour itinerary in May. Our week in the city was the most anticipated tour stop for everyone in the company. A few weeks before arriving in the Big Easy, six of us booked an AirBnB in a historic building a few blocks from Bourbon Street so we could be in the center of everything on our days off. My family and friends sent me lists of the cultural things I should eat, do, and see in NOLA.

My cousin told us about an enormous drink called a hand grenade made of idk and served in a long plastic green grenade-like tube. It's legal to sip your drinks outdoors here, which is neat. Bourbon Street itself is going through a massive repair project right now, so half of the road is torn up and fenced off, and that reminded me of Philadelphia. We left our AirBnB to explore in the pouring rain. Ponchos were readily available at a bodega (is that what they're called outside of New York?) and we moved forward clad in blue. After poking our heads into a number of places, we found an empty dance floor in Vibezz, which we filled. And then we spent two hours dancing the bachata. And then we got gyros at Instanbul Cafe.

Nola Kids

The next morning began with homemade French toast, eggs, and pumpkin spice coffee. We ventured down to Marie Laveau's House of Voodoo, Earth Odyssey to purchase smokey quartz, and Café du Monde for beignets. Everyone I talked to told me I had to go to Café du Monde and eat one of these. My friends stood in line to get the beignets while I stood in line for the bathroom. One of the employees walked by every so often reminding the men to "put the seat down for the ladies." I did, and then met up with my group to eat the pastries on the bank of the Mississippi. I've eaten on the banks of the Mississippi in several towns while on this tour, but this felt extra historic. Thanks, French Quarter! Then began our journey to find wigs to wear in the house and clubs. This is a reference to the movie Girl's Trip which I do not understand because I have never seen this movie. Between party shops we stopped in candy stores for praline samples. Laura's Candies sells a variety of flavored pralines (like chocolate which was too dark for me and coconut which was ok but I don't know.) Leah's Pralines sells Bacon Praline Brittle which I did not eat, but I purchased one of their original pralines. It wasn't as sugary as the pralines of my past, and I liked it. And then we got wigs that looked like this.

Powdered sugar with beignets underneath

We caught the end of a burlesque show at Oz featuring popped balloons and a cowboy on roller skates. Then I road the bull at Bourbon Cowboy and surprised myself, my friends, and the DJ by staying on longer than a minute. It was only when the MC said, "We might had a real bull rider here," that I fell to the ground. But then I got back up for a second round. My thighs felt it two days later. We returned to Vibezz, and that's when the wigs came out. Before turning in for the night we stopped at Vieux Carre Pizzeria, and I had am extremely satisfying piece of thick crust vegetarian pizza. I'm not saying that these last two evenings were not infused with culture: I danced the night away to Latin music (which I never did before), I road a bull (another first), and wore a purple wig in public (I've worn wigs outside before but it was the early 2000s and it was part of a spy mission and that's all I'm allowed to say.) That being said, you only really need one night on Bourbon if you want to do it at all. It was my last night out in this part of town because-

My parents flew in the next morning to explore the city and see my show! As they were in the air my group made its way to Jean Lafitte's and witnessed the preparation of absinthe shots. This was basically performance art, and paired with the business card papered walls the experience made me feel like I was at a hipster Philadelphia Fringe show. I tasted the smallest drop of absinthe and wow it was awful. It was 10:30AM and I was on my way to see gators with Gray Line Swamp Tours. Things to expect on this swamp tour: lots of puns, lots of Spanish moss, some alligators. Our guide told us about a number of films that were shot on the bayou and the non-gator people that live there. One of these people is the blue heron, and with its six foot wing span it swoops down to eat baby gators. Another blue friend of the bayou is the blue claw crab. Some people flock here to catch these crabs, but this crustacean has to be at least five inches across to take home. Imagine if middle schoolers were like these crabs. They wouldn't make fun of people who are smaller, they would envy their lifespan. I saw an eagle's nest! Different families move in and make repairs over the years like humans. One of the materials used in the construction is Spanish moss. I learned that people used to soak the moss in water for months to kill it and rid it of little red bugs, then it was used to stuff mattresses.

I met up with my parents after the swamp, and we made our way to The Striped Hat to view a number of prints by Dr. Seuss.

This tree has beads.

I love free samples and my dad loves spicy, so the three of us went into House of Pepper to taste some hot sauce. I ended up going back here a few days later for more samples. One of which was this, which brought tears to my eyes and many chips to my mouth to dull the pain:

We stopped in the French Market to look at everything and purchase nothing. It was similar to the market in Charleston I wrote about a few entries back. 

We had dinner in the Warehouse District at Emeril Lagasse's new restaurant Meril. V nice. Also, Emeril had just celebrated his birthday two days prior! And then we ubered over to Frenchmen Street for an evening of jazz. We heard some smooth beep boop bop from Grayson Brockamp at Marigny, where they play every Wednesday evening. We walked down to hear the Young Fellaz Brass Band. It's eleven guys, a Dos Equis box of cash, and an amazing night of non stop sound. Actually it stopped at 10:00 and that's when we wondered into Blue Nile to hear NORD play some upbeat jazz. Our evening out ended at Apple Barrel, a small one room bar with an LED sign that read "Cats only jk cash only," and it was packed with people and a blues cover band led by Big Mike from Chicago.

Warehouse District

Blue Nile bathroom art

My parents and I had brunch their first morning in the city at The Court of Two Sisters. We ate under a leafy green canopy to the sounds of the restaurant's three piece jazz band (bass, banjo, clarinet) and running water from two fountains. My family touched the courtyard's iron gates (imported from Spain) to feel their blessing (ordered by Queen Isabella.)

Wyland in NOLA

Gumbo, cornbread, savory teacakes, and king cake

Pirates may have killed people here

The Cornstalk Hotel

I love corn.

Krewe has sunglasses inspired by NOLA fashion and they offer you LaCroix and frozé while you shop.

Pimms with Peggy at the Carousel Bar & Lounge

As someone who frequents New York, Philadelphia, and other major metropolitan areas, I'm used to seeing human statues, but on this trip I witnessed a man posing his German Shepherd to look like he passed out from drinking grenades and catching beads. Tips for pics.

I recently became aware of the Preservation Hall Jazz Band, so listening to them live was mandatory this week. The hall itself was not at all what I expected. The room was tiny and full of benches, paintings, and unwashed walls and I loved it. The forty-five minute set included homage to Louis and my new favorite call and repeat song "I'll Be Glad When You're Dead, You Rascal You." We stopped at Market Cafe for gyros and gumbo before our Haunted History tour. Our guide, Toast, was straight out of a goth/80s music video which was perfect and festive. We learned about various burial practices, ghosts, and voodoo and I'm not going to write about it because it's too spooky and I feel weird about it.

 A piece of Philly in NOLA by artist Drew Leshko at Red Truck. The cloud-like paintings of Philadelphia artist Jim Houser were also featured, and we met a visiting couple that traveled from Philadelphia!

I had my first oysters (charbroiled) at the Corner Oyster House.

New Orleans has a big birthday this year.

One thing I have to mention is that everyone in New Orleans likes to use the same scam. It begins with something along the lines of 'I bet I can tell you where you got a shoes.' I witnessed this line several times and what bothers me the most about it is the lack of originality. How could so many people do the same scam?

Also, this is probably the only city where I'll see signs that say "drinks to go" and "cocktails to go."

So go to New Orleans. Listen to jazz, eat everything, dance in a wig and turn it around.